Tommy Cooper Punchlines Quiz 1
OK, a bit of harmless fun this one. We'll give you the guts of a joke by the famous Welsh comedian Tommy Cooper and the aim is to complete the joke with the punchline.
1. I went to the doctor's. He said 'I'd like you to lie on the couch'.
I said 'What for?'
He said ________________
2. I went to the doctor's the other day. I said 'have you got anything for wind'
so he _______________
3. I'm on a whisky diet, I've lost three ____________
4. A policeman stopped me the other night, he taps on the window of the car and says: 'Would you please blow into this bag, Sir'.
I said: 'What for, Officer?'
He says: ________________
5. "I bumped into an old acquaintance the other day, he told me he had taken a job as a postman. He said it was better than _________________
6. I slept like a log last night. I woke up ______________
7. I bought my wife a wooden leg for christmas! It's not her main present, just __________________
8. "Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
Doctor: _________________________
9. A man walked into the doctor's, he said "I've hurt my arm in several places.
The doctor said ________________________
10. So I went to the dentist.
He said "Say Aaah."
I said "Why?"
He Said ___________________
ANSWERS
1. 'I'd like to sweep the floor'
2. gave me a kite.
3. days already.
4. 'My chips are too hot'.
5. walking the streets."
6. in a fireplace
7. a stocking filler
8. "Well you can't say fairer than that then"
9. "well don't go there any more"
10. "My dog is dead"